Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Owton Manor - Hartlepool

Sat 26th May 2007

We haven't been here for 11 years!!!

So it was well mad to find the place packed and people telling us they remembered us from last time.

Awww. The towel balancer and his accomplice! But who is that stalking them in the background?

Got some footage of a revenge happy slapping incident against the tall ginger one, whilst he was showing off in the take-away!

OUCHAYABASTAD! Bitch slapped by the towel balancer during the Cheeky Girls...meself an Jimmmaaayyy stitched him proper in the takeaway tho...

Summat wrong wi Joolz...

'Mmmphhugurrrggglleissshhp' I hope I look this good when I'm 62...

Goose Green Labour - Wigan

Fri 25th May 2007

Back in stride with Frankie The Saint!

'No, I got £150 for sending in THAT pic of the missus! I tell ye, ye can't go wrong!' Ralph, Rich and the legend that is Frankie the Saint!

Got some decent footage of crazy dancing, Frankie stretching his vocal chords and some weirdo who was fast asleep?

ZZZ...zzz...zzz...This dude and his Guinness were soon parted, some dodgy b@stad had it away!

Always a pleasure to play this venue and always nice to see Frankie again!

'I predict a riot' Meself with the Legend...Frankie The Saint

When are we back here?

Sunday, May 20, 2007


Had a pic sent in by Rich, this was from when were doing Blackpool North Pier a couple of summers ago.

Can you spot who's doing what?

Burlington Club - Rotherham

Sat May 19th 2007:

Fookin 'ell they take the bingo seriously here!

On the way in there was a couple crying and shouting and screaming at each other about telling her dad summat...he has to tell im coz he can't keep it in like that.

I got the the impression they were bro & sis and he has to come out of his closet?

I reckon best thing to do is get some wind chimes for his garden then invite the folks round...

'Hi Dad, I've bought some wind chimes'

'I'll fetch your mother'

Got better when 2nd song in someone had be carried out from the front and into an ambulance...had a bad trip or summat.

The committee were hell bent on evryone being able to hear the bingo and Ralph nearly got filled in for calling Soul Glows dancing partner a trollop!

All in all, a good night despite the club being as big as a shoe box and hard to find.

Incidentally, this is the 1st time we've played this venue!

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Haydock Cricket and Bowling Club - St Helens

May 18th 2007

Well what a set of happy b@stads!!!

The most exciting thing about this club was the fekin bingo/raffle machines, of which there were two...

A raffle machine next to a bingo machine, recently...

The club is due to be pulled down and rebuilt next week...it shows, everyone seemed to enjoy themselves but try to get 'em up...forget it!

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Caption Competition

There's a Housequake W.T.F.Y.L.A T-Shirt on offer for the best caption to this pic...

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Blue Dolphin - Filey

Sat 12th May 2007

Last time here the ents staff complained to our agent about our road krew being obnoxious! We asked our roadies what had gone off, they told us to fuk off!


Interesting line up this evening consisting of Barry Gibb, Jimmmaaayyy, Ralph, Rich, Sprout, SoulGlow and meself.

Barry Gibb was concerned that he may have put on a few pounds since he left us, complaining that the outfits are a little more snug than they used to be...

'Fwuk mwe Bwo, thwis jwacket's shwunk a bwit ant twit? Baz Gibb, larger than life and twice as big, yesterday.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Skellow Grange WMC - Doncaster

Fri 11th May 2007

We haven't been here for a while so it was nice to see a full club.

Tonights line-up consisted of Chappie, Rich, Ralph, Jimmmaaayyy, Dave Sprout, Soul-Glow and meself.

Leah and Abi came along as they were bored in Hull, allegedley!

Soul-Glow & Leah...yesterday

Jools: 'I really can sing like Lionel you know...'

Leah: 'Oh for fuks sake...'

Couple of things to remember:

Firstly, when questioned about his performance on the karaoke on the Isle of Wight, Joolz (Soul-Glow) had this to say: 'The video did not do justice to my singing, you know as well as I do I can sing like Lionel Ritchie! If you had used a betterer camera, maybe it wouldn't have sounded so bad'

Well all I can say is the camera never lies, so I'm posting a vid of these comments on our youtube channel.

Secondly, we have decided to introduce a kind of 'readers wives' section but with a twist...WAGS of the group can send in pics of their relevant partners and we post the best ones.

And to kick us off, we have had this sent in from Jo in Wigan...

How's that for summat to hang your washing on? You like that don't ya? God you're gonna gerrit etc...etc...

We don't know which band member it is so we're offering a free Housequake DVD to anyone who can correctly identify him.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Chicago Rock Cafe - Norfolk

Thu 10th mAY 2007

Fek me worra squeeze!

Absolutely no room backstage to swing a cat!

Although not many in to start off with, the place filled up with an assortment of wiredos: Snow White, Cruella DeVille, Cinderella, Little Bo Peep, Little Red Riding Hood, Little Jimmie Osmond the list went on.

Too much screaming going on tho...we're not Take That you know! Just turn it in!!!

No Rich tonight as he was going to a prom so Dave doing his Little Britain, which was funny. Rich is about three times bigger than Dave so the props hanging on for grim were funny for the audience to see, but even funnier coz it's not wot we're used to seeing.

Also nice to have Shaunie helping out, but scary that when him and Sprout have no tops on, they look like they're wearing the same body...tin ribs and all!

A good un but no pics taken, which was a shame.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Embassy - Selsey

Sun 6th May 2007

Gawd is it windy here or who?

Last night, Les McEwan's Bay City Rollers were here...the entertainments staff were still cleaning up.

Les McEwans Bay City Rollers...allegedley!

Allegedley, Les drank a litre & a half of whisky before going face first onstage! These amateurs, hey it doesn't surprise me.

Last night of our ickle Southern fried tour & a good club to go home on, revolving stage et al!

Wey the lads...on us way, yesterday!

Norton Grange - Isle of Wight

Sat 5th May 2007

Stepford Wives springs to mind!

We landed on IOW and proceeded straight to venue, where we noticed quickly the average age of the clientele to be about 80!

V.V nice apartments, posh resort but we knew we had to be extra tame this evening.

The concert room had a view across the Solent which was just like being in the South of France or somewhere, much clearer water than our side and hotter for some reason?

A View of Blighty...from a concert room in Wighty, the other day!

Our one spot was between the resident act and so what if no-one got up to dance? When we went to watch the residents afterwards, the place had emptied so we did well keeping them in.

Soul glow kept us amused on the karaoke [check our youtube channel] and I had to share a room with Chappie...who was missing his Mum, espesh at bathtime when his armpits needed washing!

But I don't know wot to do...Chappie, in the bath, the other day!

Guess who ended up trashed...again?

Combe Haven - Hastings

Fri 4th May 2007

Bloody 'ell, we've been here b4 but I don't remember!!! The lads reckon 'coz I'll have been trashed.

'Oh I'm sorry, did I spoil your shot?': Chapster, doin a SoulGlow and getting in on someone elses pic.

OK in a usual Haven holiday type kind of way, all of us crammed into a single chalet with me cramped up on the couch, only to find in the morning it extended out into a double bed...fek, arse fek arse!!!

A game of poker commenced when we got into our chalet, with Joolz informing us (again) he's been to Las Vegas...etc...etc playing poker with the best! Funny then that he was 1st out!

An assortment of snoring, gnarling, tooth grating type budgie whistling and farting noises to keep Jimmmaaayyy awake during this his 1st expedition into staying away with HQ.

Onwards, to IOW!

Chicago Rock - Bishops Stortford

Wed 2nd May 2007