Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Presthaven Sands Holiday Village - Prestatyn

Sat Aug 25th 2007

...and from Blackpool to Prestatyn!

Two hours later and we're doing another gig.

As always these Haven camps have an ents crew willing to help us in Village People...

Mel and Wilma... But I thought the Village People were all blurks?

This room was as hot a hell, Chappie nearly passed out backstage but that's because Jo has been down and he's been Viagra-ing her all over the place and neglecting to eat.

Hey these young kids these days, fancy spending all day in bed when the sun's out, they should go for a nice walk or summat?

Chubby Brown - Blackpool Opera House

Sat 25th Aug 2007

Well this came in late.

We were asked if we could do a warm up for the 'Chubster' bfore doing the gig at Presthaven...we said OK!

Ralph & Chaps set up the gear at Prestatyn then drove back to Blackpool where Dave, Rich & meself did the sound check for Chubby.

It was a very different venue to what we're used to. The Opera House seats about 4000 people and from the stage, anyone at the back looks like a dot.

View of Blackpool Opera House from Chubbys Piano You can't get the impression of size from this pic, but if you look close you can see Dave & Ralph at the back.

Chubs was very amiable - coming to our dressing room after fukin bootin us out of his just to make sure he had got the best room.

Chappie was very nervous as he hasn't met Chubby before so I introduced him and Chubs posed for a pic with the Chapster.

'He seems like a nice bloke but he ain't half a funny fukin colour - he looks like summat off the fukin Simpsons...' Said Chubby about Paul, yesterday!

There is some accidental footage of Chubby telling us a joke on our youtube channel here!

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Country Park - Hessle, Hull

Fri Aug 24th 2007

On Wednesday, I ordered some jars of pickled chillies from the Chille Foundry and was expecting them to turn up today...they didn't!!!

Bunch o' Nazi Fascist B@stads!

Anyways...

Great gig again! We had hired some much needed lights for tonite and it made a helluva difference.

Loadsa smoke, loadsa lasers, loadsa light but it wasn't that the made the night great, it was our regular Hull crowd...absolutely 100% into it and ready for a laff!

SoulGlow showed off his new (3rd) Indian headdress but we were let down by not having anyone to wear the Dafydd Thomas (I'm the only gay in the Village) outfit for Village People...theres a joke in there but I'm not sure everyone gets it?

wtf...stonking night, always great to play in our hometown innit!

They even put up with Critch!

'Ey, I fukin love you lot, you're fukin brilliant that's what you are...you're fukin ace!' That is until Critch digs out a shirt from backstage and tries to be one of the band.

We love him and that but he doesn't do us any favours getting up on stage and wailing down a mike!

(Don't tell him we said that!)

As an added bonus, I was sent this night a picture of the Chapster, drawn by no less than his bird!

I can't print the message that came with it simply because I don't wish to offend the skinny fat arctic white crabstick flavoured narrow shouldered pot bellied pigeon chested ginger b@stad, but I'll gladly post the pic.

It has been carefully drawed and as such depicts all the nuances that Chapsters bird likes about him (except the towel balancing trick) so, withour further ado, here it is...

Hmmm...that's how Chappies bird sees him that is! I shall let the sound of your laughter tell it's own story.

Big Thanks go out to the DJ for being our sailor tonite - very camp - and the guys who supplied the light show...nice one! You made us look good which is summat Stephen Spielberg can't do.

We do appreciate it and just to show our gratitude - sometime, maybe, maybe not, Ralph will buy you all a drink...when his dole cheque comes through!

Not forgetting a Hooooooj thanks to everyone who came and had a laff...you make the nite wot it is!

So THANKS!!!

Housequake

Chicago Rock Cafe - Redditch

Thu Aug 23rd 2007

It seemed like it took us a very long time to get here...is that all I seem to moan about these days??? But we did hit a standstill on the M1 and made a horrendous fekin detour, Dave's trilogy of terror DVD with naughty undertones did take the sting out a bit.

Anyways, we made it - Hooray!

Sat outside with all the smokers again - huroo!

Chapsters girlfried (I'll refrain from calling Jo 'his bird' as they seem quite serious) staying over so it was nice to see her.

Bit of a dismal gig; a fair few in but they didn't really seem interested and those that did were only trying to outdo us by prancing about right in front of the stage?

What's that all about???

I managed to really piss off some hacked off looking woman by asking her friend 'what's wrong with her?'

Her friend replied 'Don't ask!'

I said 'I think you'll find I already did!'

To this the hacked off looking woman (let's call her Beryl...she looked like a Beryl) waved a hand at me...well...

This hand looked like pornographically filthy.

So I continued the one way conversation by asking 'What the fuks that on your hands?'

Result = One even more hacked off looking Beryl!

Especially when I voiced my opinion, over the mike, to everyone, that I felt it looked like she had been 'digging graves with her bare hands'

Funnily enuff, she didn't dance!

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Pik of Joe


For sum reason, during all the Mayhem at Skellow WMC, i took a Pik of Chris's(70) mate Oddjob/Joe(49)

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Hafen Y Mor - Pwllheli, Gwynedd

sAT 18TH aUG 2007

Another Haven.

Fekin miles away and not helped by the fact that it was pissing down all the way there and back!

Only saving grace was Rich's excellent twisting of a coat hanger to create a bracket for his new tablet DVD player.

Hot Fuzz...innit? Riches excellent handiwork. I reckon he should go down Whitefriargate and bend coat hangers into peoples names and animal shapes an that - he'd make a packet!

We watched Hot Fuzz (again...) and that new film with your man from Hannibal Lecter where he shoots his missus in the moy after finding out she's banging a cop, represents himself in court, shows that the arresting officer was banging his missus, manages to plant the gun that he used on the same guy, turns his missus life support off and nearly...very nearly gets off with it.

If it wasn't for a final monlogue and that pesky meddling young lawyer!!!

TED...WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST KEEP YER TRAP SHUT???

Gig was OK, staff are always friendly and helped out with our new (3rd) brand new Indian Headdress for Village People.

'Young Man, theres no need to feel down. I said young man...etc...etc...etc' Our 3rd Indian Headdress in 8 months.

'Tell you who are a good act...Smokey! Oh yeah, we 'ad a rite gud laff about it!' Me and Ralph sat in the van...yesterday!

Skellow Grange WMC - Skellow, Doncaster

Fri 17th Aug 2007

Chris (52) and Oddbottle, OddJob or Odd bastad whatever you wanna call him away with us for this one.

His real name his Joe (26) and he's a good mate of Chris's; I don't have a pic of him...which is a shame coz he's got forearms that look like he could twist some fekkers head off!

He's a real nice bloke and it was nice to meet him...well, I'm not gonna say anything bad am I? The geezer knows where I live!

Chris (57) was a bit reticent to get up with us but after a few lines of class A he was good to go.

Check the Youtube footage here.

'How long does this stuff last anayway?' Norfolk (59), putting summat up his nostrils while everything Joolz (63) put up his just falls out...every fekin where! allegedley!***

Joolz (60) was O.O.H.T - Out Of His Tree - for this one as it has been a while since he could be bothered to come away with us.

He spent most of the night falling over people, looking for his sandals, dropping white dust out of nose and ringing up nobody asking 'them' to tell him they loved him???

'Aw go on...I love you...why won't you tell me that you love me?' Joolz, get back on the ceiling...ya pissed up drugged up Lionel Richie faced fekker!

A good night in my opinion, Chris (nearly 60) spent most of the 2nd set being pushed off stage and telling Sam off High Chapparals roof (now 93) to give him his shoes back.

When we told Sam (80 summat) he looked like Sam (29), he reckoned he looked more like Manuel (103) from Fawlty Towers...hey! he wasn't wrong!

*** DISCLAIMER.

HOUSEQUAKE WOULD LIKE TO MAKE IT CLEAR TO ANY SMALL CHILDREN THAT MIGHT BE WATCHING, THAT THEY DO NOT CONDONE DRUG TAKING AT ALL AND FURTHERMORE, ON THE ADVICE OF THEIR SOLICITORS (Shotgun, Bastard & Dribble) WOULD LIKE TO STRESS THAT THE ABOVE IMAGE OF CHRIS ALLEGEDLEY SNIFFING AN ILLEGAL SUBSTANCE, IS COMPLETELY 100% STAGED AND, IS NOT MEANT TO INFER TO VIEWERS THAT THE TAKING OF ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES IS BIG, CLEVER OR SOMETHING TO IMPRESS OTHER PEOPLE WITH AND FINALLY, THAT NO ICING SUGAR WAS HARMED DURING THE PRODUCTION OF THE ABOVE PHOTO.

Housequake

Friday, August 17, 2007

Primrose Valley - Filey

Thu 16th Aug 2007

This must be the best Haven camp we do!

Crowd are always appreciative and down for a laff, they seem to want to join in on anything and everything.

Because of this belting atmosphere, the night wasn't spoiled when all the clubs PA went down during the Temptations just leaving the main radio mike working.

As an off the cuff ad-lib, Dave got the crowd singing and clapping along to a few Temps numbers, still dressed as the main temp whilst everyone scrabbled about to find out what had gone pop!

Check the youtube feed here.

Who threw that Headdress at you? Big Thanks to Emma & Tillie for helping out in Village People. We luv ya x x

Monday, August 13, 2007

Athersley Social WMC - Barnsley

Sat 11th Aug 2007

Bazza the b@stad - big flared nostrils - filed off nose end - flat back of the 'ed like it's been hit with a frying pan - drawn on - type ex-roadie coming out for this one as Soul-Glow has buggered off to go see Prince.

'Wot's thwat ywou sway Bwo?' Bazza the b@stad in our car on the way to Athersley...yesterday

Usual kind of complaints before we go on stage but everyone don't want us to come off at the end of the night.

Nice 'local' gig for a change and a stonking warm evening for it.

Shabba!

Doniford Bay Holiday park - Watchet, Somerset

Fri 10th aug 2007

I'm well pissed off with this journey!

It took me and Rich the best part of six b@stad hours to get here.

What really takes the piss, is that our fekin agent has done a deal with these Haven holiday camps, so they book us up for the whole of summer and get some big fek off discount.

So we spend the best part of a day travelling for practically fek all.

R@lph & Ch@ppie had a better trip coming down here from Aylesbury.

In future, if we have a one off gig for this price and it's more than 4 hours drive, I'm staying at home!

Chicago Rock Cafe - Aylesbury Leisure Park

Thu Aug 9th 2007

Raplh & Chapster doin the REAL roadie thang and staying out!!!

Sent a pic of Da Vinci's cat to Ralph...

'Saw this and thought of you...'

Here was my reply...

'Saw these bastards and thought of you...'

Looks like they had fun.

We were on for a good few more bookings (and free drinks) until Ralph called the Manager by someone elses name, after speaking with him most of the night.

Numbnut...eh? You wot? and I can fukin dance!

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Ralph's Merc SLK 230


For Sale £10k ono (Just Buy it Wot harm can it do.? )

Friday, August 10, 2007

WTF is goin on???

Just in case our regular viewers may wonder about the 'all over the placeness' of our blog lately, it's because both Ralpf and meself are trying blogging from mobile devices.

Ralph has a SonyEricsson K800i which blogs straight to the HQ-blog but it eats his credit, whilst I'm using me new Nokia N95...which doesn't go striaght to our blog...(b@stad thing!!!)

But I've finally cracked it!

Just in case anyone is interested, you have to set up a Flickr account on your mobile. This gives you the ability to upload pics to their webspace, which is a kind of online gallery.

With a Flickr setup, you need to tweak it to forward your posts onto your Blogger space.

What a ball-ache, espesh as I've only got the one!!!

But this only works from your PC, right now only posts from your mobile go to Flickr. If you blog from your PC the tweak works fine...

To get posts from your mobile going to both Flickr AND Blogger, you need to download a config file onto your N95 and go through the setup again.

So you now have two Flickr accounts on your Nokia: One which posts to Flickr and one which posts to Flickr and Blogger.

It's been a nightmare but normal service should resume shortly.

That's all from me...

I've been the BrynMeister, you've been you.

Until next time friends, thank you for watching, we'll be hearing from your solicitors in the morning.

Jo & Paul


Jo & Paul
Originally uploaded by HOUSEQUAKEUK

Awww. . . Makes you wanna be sick don't it?

Delores


Delores
Originally uploaded by HOUSEQUAKEUK

My 1979 Datsun 260Z, yesterday!

Tim trasht!


Tim trasht!
Originally uploaded by HOUSEQUAKEUK

In stark contrast to the earlier pic of Tim on his way down to Great Yarmouth, this is him on the way home.

Chicago rock - Aylesbury


Chicago rock - Aylesbury
Originally uploaded by HOUSEQUAKEUK

Would you want to come and see these two fastheads?

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Great Yarmouth: Day 2


15:48 04 August 2007 Catalogue pose. 'Look, there's the bloke who told Chappie to get a bra on!'

Great Yarmouth: Day 2


13:53 04 August 2007 Tim practicing his ball spinning. You can't tell but that ball is off like fook.

Great Yarmouth: Day 2


13:16 04 August 2007 puffs Pair of Puffs. 'Are we ready for some serious frisbee throwing in the sun or who?'

Great Yarmouth Mini Adwenture


Great Yarmouth Mini Adwenture
Originally uploaded by HOUSEQUAKEUK

17:50 03 August 2007 Tim coming away to Great Yarmouth for a jolly... This is Tim, one of our old roadkrew. He's decided to come down to Gt Yarmouth and enjoy some good weather with his old mates.

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Chappy getting sum Shit.!


HQ in Gt-Yarmouth, Chapz gets his top off to impress his bird, but a Car full of Chav's passed with a Tannoy speaker and said
"GET A BRA ON" Chapz wasn't happy..

New Roadie's Tits..


Out of these 3 Tits which one do u think HouseQuake should keep az Top Roadie.?

Friday, August 03, 2007

Grandad


Grandad
Originally uploaded by HOUSEQUAKEUK

21:49 19 April 2007 19042007017 Rich Wilki, the Grandaddy

New road crew


Chappys Bird may aswelk join the band.

Flickr

This is a test post from flickr, a fancy photo sharing thing.

Ralphs 1st blog

Shaun

Saturday, July 28, 2007

He came back and in his own words said ive still got it.! (Tosser.!)

[Ralph now has a Sony ericsson K800i which is capable of mobile blogging, expect to see more posts from him]